A portrait about Suzie Day
– Interview from the 10’th of May 2019, Ella, Sri Lanka –
- When was the last time you felt happiness from the bottom of your heart?
I feel happiness from the bottom of my heart a lot, but there’s different levels for me. The last time I was on a high, when I felt pure, authentic, true joy was when I was at the waterfalls here next to Ella. I was with a group of people I hardly knew but I felt so comfortable. I also forgot my phone at home so I was happy because it taught me to be more present in each moment. I’ve been trying to learn to do that for a while but I always make excuses and use technology too much. I just remember looking at the view and thinking, “I can’t believe this is real.”
2. What does it mean to you to live an intense life?
I think it’s trying to do something that scares you every day, and constantly challenging your comfort zone by doing things to the fullest. If you’re going to commit to a project, do it 100% and then reap the rewards after. It’s about knowing that being uncomfortable is a really good feeling and it’s not something to be scared of or nervous about because a lot of people, when they start feeling nervous, they retract back into heir comfort zone. To live in an intense life is to constantly challenge yourself.
3. What was the most soul touching experience in your life?
I lived all over the world throughout my childhood and I didn’t feel like I had a solid base, so when I finished university, I decided that I wanted to stay in one place to build the sense of feeling like part of a community. Two of my best friends now own the main pub that we all go to and they are two of the most inspiring people in my life. They’re very spiritual. Rose can connect to a higher source and channel spirits. Owen is this tall Australian life-and-soul of the party and he’s totally in tune too. At this point in time we weren’t that close, but one night they asked me to come upstairs to their apartment above the pub and told me they sensed I had a lot of spiritual energy. I had been searching for someone or people who were on a similar level to me in terms of spirituality, believing in the law of attraction and the universe and then they came into my life. They helped me explore and nurture that energy for my personal development and growth. It was like they recognised it from afar, took their time with it and now they’re part of my family.
4. How would you describe spirituality in your own words?
I don’t believe that we are human beings having a spiritual experience, I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience. So everyone senses spirituality to some degree, whether you’re a person who believes in it the least, or has experienced the most. I think it’s your connection to yourself. It’s knowing the difference between your spirit and your heart or the head telling you things. It’s your own relationship with it and how you use that to go forward in life.
5. Imagine, the last day of your life has come and there is nobody who has any information about you and your life. All the information has mysteriously been deleted. If I would give you an empty sheet of paper and you could leave a message with the three most important wisdoms of your life, which three wisdoms would you write down?
Live your life.
6. What’s your source of power and motivation to manage your every-day-life?
It’s learning for me. It’s about getting up every morning and knowing you’re going to be more experienced, smarter and able to handle yourself better than the day before. Seeing everything as a lesson and not seeing obstacles as something that are meant to put you out of your way or make things harder for you. When you come across something difficult in your life, it’s not about thinking “Why is this happening to me? It’s not fair. I don’t deserve this.” It’s about thinking, “OK, what is this going to teach me.”
7. What’s your vision for your life?
Wow. I have lots of visions. I try not to think too far ahead because I feel like I don’t want to have this predetermined plan or structure for my life – I don’t want to stay that rigid and not feel I’m flexible enough to change with what happens in my life. What I’d love is my own family, to be completely self sufficient, independent and really comfortable with myself. I want to get to a point where I don’t think too much about social implications or the way I come across to people. I want to have complete faith in my good heart. It does affect me, I’m not going to lie.
This might not be a healthy thought but sometimes I think about where I’d be if I’d gone for everything I truly wanted in my life. I went to university but I didn’t know what to study. I took Business Management with Marketing and French but it didn’t fill my heart up. I completed it and I got a piece of paper saying I have a degree, but I know that everything happens for a reason and it was a great tool for my future. It opened up a lot of doors but If I could go back, I’d do music instead.
8. When you make decisions, do you prefer following your head or your heart and instinct?
I prefer following my instinct and my heart if I know that it’s my heart and instinct talking. Sometimes I think it’s difficult to know the difference between whether it’s your heart or your head. There have been times when I’ve know something is out of balance but I haven’t acted on it with my heart. I’ve been scared to hurt people’s feelings and I wouldn’t want to affect other people negatively if I’ve made a certain decision. However, I think we have the brain for a reason and we learn a lot. Sometimes your gut or your heart is telling you you want something, but the best thing to do is to not feed that desire. It’s a good tool to use when the time is right.
9. Do you pay attention to your dreams and do they have a meaning for you?
I don’t write my dreams down or pay too much attention to them. I do have two recurring dreams though. The first is that I wake up, I have a tattoo on my face and it’s awful. I think it comes from the fear of losing control. I wouldn’t say that I’m a controlling person. I feel I can and do surrender to the flow of life but there have been times I’ve pushed my limits and it’s scared me a little bit. We have a strong drinking culture in England and I’ve worked in hospitality for years, so you do naturally get into that way of life. They’ve all been good experiences because I’m constantly testing myself and now I know where my limits are, so it’s easier to control my experiences in the way I want them.
The second recurring dream I have is that I am going into an exam I haven’t revised for or I’m handing in a project that isn’t fully prepared. I think it’s been important for me to learn from because I don’t think you can ever be fully prepared for anything. I think it’s about learning to let go of the need to always be in control. The fear of the unknown is something that stops a lot of us from living our best life, but it’s realising that everyone has fear. There is no such thing as not being afraid in some way or another. What’s important is what you do with that fear that propels you forward – using the courage in your heart to go for it.
10. How would you prefer your funeral to be like?
Oooh… I’ve never been asked this before. Originally I wanted to be cremated because I think that’s the most environmentally friendly way, but recently they’ve developed a way you can be buried underground in a pod and it grows into a tree. I don’t know, maybe that’s a bit egotistical of me to want to be born again as tree, but instead of visiting a tomb stone, my loved ones can go there and I can be a tree forever. I hope it’s really pretty and has loads of cool flowers. Not a fruit tree though… that would be weird. (laughs)
11. Which thoughts give you hope?
For me it’s more thoughts that come from a feeling. When I have thoughts about not feeling good enough or I need to be better at things or change the way I think and act, I try to come back into my centre, my ‘self’, and remind myself of when I was a child. Because we moved around from country to country, I was always ‘the new girl’. You’re constantly having to make friends, leave, and repeat the whole process. It’s a constant battle of establishing what people think about you and how to fit into a group. I remember developing this practice where I would remember my good qualities, reflect on everything I had already achieved and what brings me joy. Slowly slowly, those thoughts turn into confidence in myself and knowing that ultimately, if I want something I can do it. I remember repeating to myself, “I will do it”.
Thoughts that give me hope for the external environment come from being in places like here in our hostel where you’re surrounded by good people. We’re like-minded people whom care about love and being a good person and that gives me hope. I’s really easy to lose faith when you pay too much attention to negativity, the media and scare-mongering.
12. If an artist would draw a picture about your life, what animal would he choose as a symbol for you? What would the landscape around you look like in the drawing? What kind of weather would it be there?
I see myself as a wolf. They are very social and family-orientated animals, but they’re very independent as well. They’re free and explore their surroundings but I think sometimes I can be a bit closed off and protective of myself in case I get hurt. I’m not always the best at fully letting people in. I put a protective barrier up like wolves with their close unit. They go off and explore, but always come back to their circle.
For the setting, I’d choose the mountains with loads of pine trees everywhere. It’s the middle to the end of Spring so it’s warm but the air is really fresh and you can smell the pine in the air. There’s a blue sky but with bright white clouds dotted around so the sun rays come in and out.
Additional information: 28 years old, B.o.A. Business Management with Marketing and French, currently travelling the world, from Farnham, England //7